A Crow's Cheeseburger Surprise | Flash Fiction Monday

Flash Fiction Mondays are little creative bits to help stretch the brain and writing muscles of The Romance Witch & Writer. Enjoy!

Flash Fiction Prompt: Ghosts & Cheeseburgers & My Hatred for Skinny Propaganda

Written by The Romance Witch and Writer

I found myself at the corner of West Lake and Broadstreet. Smithy Bits’s outdoor patio was illuminated by soft garden lights hanging overhead. The stark aroma of grilled meat and French fries filled the air. The scent made my feet become heavy cinderblocks, locking myself firmly in place, so I wouldn’t move one more inch away. Strangers would bump into me sure as I was smack dab in the middle of the coffee shop.

Good thing I was dead.

“Yo buddy,” A burly voice squawked “You mind? You’re standing on my trash?”

I looked down at my feet to see a crow, no bigger than the length of my foot, staring up at me with its head tilted to the side. It’s one eye facing me sized my up and down.

“You can see me?”

“Of course I can see you,” If birds could roll their eyes, I think this one would have. “You’re in the middle of the sidewalk. Get out of my way. You’re standing on my treasure.”

“Treasure? I-

It was a foil wrapper from the burger joint. Don’t crows like shiny objects? I moved my foot off the wrapper.

“Sorry,” I muttered “I got distracted.”

The crow huffed and took the wrapper up to its perch on the light post across the street. Once the wrapper was secured, the bird flew backdown to me.

“What’s your name dead guy?”

My eyes rolled, “Derek.”

“Well, Derek.” The crow shot back with just as much irritation as I felt “Don’t you have some big light to walk into, you know, with angels singing in all that?”

I paused. I don’t know really how I got here. Shit, I don’t even remember how I died. I just remember being in the hospital and then waking up over my body in the morgue. A lot of things felt unfinished…just like that burger a woman was pushing away. Her face scrunched up, a partial frown on her lips.

“Do you not like it, Tina?” Tina’s friend asked.

“No, I’m just trying to watch my figure.” Tina waved her hands. “I just like a bite, ya know? I mostly just like the smell of the burger. I could never be that person to finish a whole cheeseburger.”

Tina’s friend, a very attractive woman in my eyes, paused and looked at her half-eaten burger.

“You’re so right,” Her hollow laugh echoed. “You want to ditch this place?”

I wanted to scream with the force of a thousand men. Finish the damn cheeseburger. Life’s too short. I would know! I was only thirty-two when I died and lived my entire life at the gym & eating all organic free range everything.

“Eating one burger won’t kill you.” I groaned as both beautiful women threw their food in the trash.

The crow cawed softly, “I see what’s going on.”

I looked down at the crow again, “What are you talking about?”

“Stay here.”

The crow flew up higher into the evening sky. I couldn’t see him after a minute. I sighed and watched a server come out with a tray piled high with one family’s order. The two children squealed with delight. Their parents started dividing the food and I froze when I saw the crow’s dark shape take form. The crow nosedived. Oh, he was going for the family’s table…the table with two children…now screaming their heads off. The crow snatched up one of their fresh cheeseburgers and plopped the burger down towards me. I felt stupid putting my hands out, wouldn’t the burger just fall through my ghostly hands? Nope, the burger landed softly in my hands, firm and warm.

“What did you just do?” I turned the burger over in my hands.

The crow puffed out its chest. “I delivered you a delicious meal. Enjoy it, I don’t do nice things often.”

“But how?”

“Crows are travelers between realms kid. Some of us messengers…but let’s just call it, uh, magic.

I took the wrapper off the cheeseburger, inhaled its greasy glory, and took one bite. I never felt more happy and complete than when che-

“Oh shi-

---

Miguel the crow watched two angels scoop up the lost soul Derek with ease. They evaporated in a puff of light. Miguel shook his head.

He couldn’t believe it. This kid’s soul was finally at rest because of a stupid cheeseburger? It can’t be that good.

He walked over to the dropped burger, pecking at its remnants, and mulled over a few pieces in his mouth.

“It’s actually not terrible,” Miguel huffed. “It could use some bacon though.”

THE END