Flash Fiction Prompt: Ghosts & Cheeseburgers & My Hatred for Skinny Propaganda

Written by The Romance Witch and Writer

I found myself at the corner of West Lake and Broadstreet. Smithy Bits’s outdoor patio was illuminated by soft garden lights hanging overhead. The stark aroma of grilled meat and French fries filled the air. The scent made my feet become heavy cinderblocks, locking myself firmly in place, so I wouldn’t move one more inch away. Strangers would bump into me sure as I was smack dab in the middle of the coffee shop.

Good thing I was dead.

“Yo buddy,” A burly voice squawked “You mind? You’re standing on my trash?”

I looked down at my feet to see a crow, no bigger than the length of my foot, staring up at me with its head tilted to the side. It’s one eye facing me sized my up and down.

“You can see me?”

“Of course I can see you,” If birds could roll their eyes, I think this one would have. “You’re in the middle of the sidewalk. Get out of my way. You’re standing on my treasure.”

“Treasure? I-

It was a foil wrapper from the burger joint. Don’t crows like shiny objects? I moved my foot off the wrapper.

“Sorry,” I muttered “I got distracted.”

The crow huffed and took the wrapper up to its perch on the light post across the street. Once the wrapper was secured, the bird flew backdown to me.

“What’s your name dead guy?”

My eyes rolled, “Derek.”

“Well, Derek.” The crow shot back with just as much irritation as I felt “Don’t you have some big light to walk into, you know, with angels singing in all that?”

I paused. I don’t know really how I got here. Shit, I don’t even remember how I died. I just remember being in the hospital and then waking up over my body in the morgue. A lot of things felt unfinished…just like that burger a woman was pushing away. Her face scrunched up, a partial frown on her lips.

“Do you not like it, Tina?” Tina’s friend asked.

“No, I’m just trying to watch my figure.” Tina waved her hands. “I just like a bite, ya know? I mostly just like the smell of the burger. I could never be that person to finish a whole cheeseburger.”

Tina’s friend, a very attractive woman in my eyes, paused and looked at her half-eaten burger.

“You’re so right,” Her hollow laugh echoed. “You want to ditch this place?”

I wanted to scream with the force of a thousand men. Finish the damn cheeseburger. Life’s too short. I would know! I was only thirty-two when I died and lived my entire life at the gym & eating all organic free range everything.

“Eating one burger won’t kill you.” I groaned as both beautiful women threw their food in the trash.

The crow cawed softly, “I see what’s going on.”

I looked down at the crow again, “What are you talking about?”

“Stay here.”

The crow flew up higher into the evening sky. I couldn’t see him after a minute. I sighed and watched a server come out with a tray piled high with one family’s order. The two children squealed with delight. Their parents started dividing the food and I froze when I saw the crow’s dark shape take form. The crow nosedived. Oh, he was going for the family’s table…the table with two children…now screaming their heads off. The crow snatched up one of their fresh cheeseburgers and plopped the burger down towards me. I felt stupid putting my hands out, wouldn’t the burger just fall through my ghostly hands? Nope, the burger landed softly in my hands, firm and warm.

“What did you just do?” I turned the burger over in my hands.

The crow puffed out its chest. “I delivered you a delicious meal. Enjoy it, I don’t do nice things often.”

“But how?”

“Crows are travelers between realms kid. Some of us messengers…but let’s just call it, uh, magic.

I took the wrapper off the cheeseburger, inhaled its greasy glory, and took one bite. I never felt more happy and complete than when che-

“Oh shi-

Miguel the crow watched two angels scoop up the lost soul Derek with ease. They evaporated in a puff of light. Miguel shook his head.

He couldn’t believe it. This kid’s soul was finally at rest because of a stupid cheeseburger? It can’t be that good.

He walked over to the dropped burger, pecking at its remnants, and mulled over a few pieces in his mouth.

“It’s actually not terrible,” Miguel huffed. “It could use some bacon though.”

THE END

Writing Magic is a segment on The Romance Witch and Writer’s page where, on the odd ocassion, where we face problems. These articles are lamentations and transmutations all in one. May peace and your heart guide you to gain some inspiration and magic from these pieces as well.

One would think most of the shame I hold towards writing is because I get harassed for writing romance novels with the occasional delightfully filthy scene which will traumatize those closest to me. Yes, that is what I must feel shame from…my sexuality and its varying expressions.

That’s actually not true.

I’m not shameful of my genre of choice. My shame came from simply being a writer. Aspirations of being a published author haunt my nights and plague my days with endless daydreams about characters I want to make tangible. My relationship with writing borders on a situationship. We’re messy and toxic. I have over eighteen years’ worth of yearning, back and forth inner wrestling, and unrequited love towards writing. Well, why haven’t I done anything about it? Sometimes I say it’s not my time…at least, that’s one of the illusions I strangle myself.

I’m learning there’s never really a good time to begin. There’s only now or later…but I feel a lot of guilt and shame about actually sitting down to write. When I think about my struggle, my spirit guides show an image of myself. They whisper over a brief giggle, “We can be our own worst enemies.”

Spirit really does know how to hit the hammer on the nail’s head. I spend so much of my writing career struggling to begin a way that is pleasing to those around me. You see, writing (at least to some of my family members and friends) is not profitable. They would bring up when I used to work my corporate legal job…how I need to get back in the game and stop being delusional. I was on a good track when I graduated college…but then COVID-19 happened, the job market went to shit, I had a bad breakup from a relationship I never wanted to be in, and my father passed. I was basically forced to quit my job soon after. I suddenly had a clusterfuck entrance into adulthood that I wasn’t ready for. Sometimes I feel like I’m so far behind everyone else in life…and that’s my own insecurity.

Writing under this pressure brought me an artistic death wherein I suffocated on shame. I’m shameful for not making more money. For not being a successful person and uplifting my family name…instead I feel like just the girl with a four year English degree collecting dust instead of stacks of bills. I’m shameful because instead of using my writing to make money I want to write horny, silly monster romances. Whenever I open a word document screen, I find myself saying, “I should be looking for another job or focusing on school.”

I’m not in the legal or medical field making money…so why would I stay at my “dead-end receptionist job” as people call it and write a romance book? I need to get another degree and find a different job making a fuck ton more money. Then I can be successful and write in my free time…because writing to everyone else is just a hobby. A dangerous pursuit which wastes time.

I’m so fucking tired of being like this. A few months ago, I saw a note on Substack talking about how there were Ao3 writers wanting to monetize their work. A huge critique was how people don’t write for enjoyment and pleasure anymore. They do it for money. I don’t blame other people wanting money…look at the society we are in and the economy. Something struck me when I read that statement though. I was obsessed over the thought of writing for fun.

It’s been years since I wrote for fun. Yet, after fifteen minutes of spewing my guts for shits and giggles I have this article written and a few resolutions to improve my relationship with writing.

My resolutions?

1.) I will treat my relationship with writing & the act of doing so as self-care. It’s not shamful to express my emotions and have fun with words. It’s a natural relief my body and mind need. Writing will be my pleasure not my guilty shame. I don’t care if I’m making money or becoming famous. I’m just happy to be here. I will write at night and under an alias to be free from prying eyes who know me. I’m tired of the questions and harassment. I want to write what I want to write because I choose to. Writing is the air in my lungs and the blood pumping through my veins…a way for me to break free and scream in a way I need to. I need to take the pressure off myself and just enjoy being here.

2.) I will dedicate myself and understand novels aren’t written in a day. To write a novel is like undertaking an unpaid job that might one day bring you success…and if the first one doesn’t work out…you KEEP going. Some writers don’t get their big breaks until after writing four or five books. Some make it on the first try. It’s all about patience, dedication, and consistency. I’m going to take the pressure off myself and not focus on the future outcomes but the present. All I need to think about when writing is the following:

“Does this make sense?”

“Do I like what I’ve written?”

“How can I stay consistent and show up for this story?

3.) I will protect and defend my ability to write. It’s funny because spirit shows me protection magic. I’m almost becoming this knight in shining armor for my writing. When I write, I won’t let other people brush it off as my daydreaming. I will take it seriously and make sure they do as well. No more interrupting me whenever they want. This is my time and other people need to respect it.

Because all those “silly” romance books I want to write WILL be worth my time.

The realization came to me over a recent heartbreak, a non-romantic relationship suprisingly, wherein I was upset and crying…lately its been one of the many betrayals I felt as of late. You see, one of my close friends got caught talking shit about me at work. I wasn’t even present, but best believe a witch will always find out. I won’t get into the gorey details, but when I was laying down on my bed I wanted to scream defeat and wave the white flag to whatever unseeable force held me hostage.

I’d been trying for the past ten years to build a life I was proud of. Surround myself with others I thought would be my cliché found family. Yet, the constant building towards my dreams & family kept going ways I hadn’t anticipated…especially this past year. I felt like Galinda in Wicked. I was where I thought I was supposed to be, but not where my heart belonged…leaving me to inevitable ballad of “I Couldn’t Be Happier”. Then the spirits gave me a vision, just a little tiny one, really, where I saw myself playing one the many videos where people asked, no prayed, for one thing:

”If what is present is not for me or not in my best interest, please remove and stop them from coming into my life.”

I swear I felt spirit giggle around me and I’m not kidding when I say this is what happened...

I remember after seeing one of those videos I did a small little ritual in my car after a really bad day of work…nothing happened for months. I simply moved on after the ritual and continued my life and now here I am a year later seeing the mantra unfold in divine timing…so, needless to say, if you use this mantra please be prepared for what will come. I say this after losing three close friends, switching two jobs (that I’d thought would be my salvation), and one small business that pittled out. You think I just pulled out moldavite on my life the way that mantra moved through my existence.

P.S. Make sure to document when you do mantras and rituals…something I will now be adding into my spiritual routine to help myself keep up with my magical shenanigans…and not be so resistant to change.

🪄💖 Thanks for reading! 💘🏹

The Romance Witch is a witch who writes romance novels. There will be characters you’ll swoon over (maybe even slightly obsess about). Sometimes there will be spiritual, witchy woo woo advice over a tarot spread. Hope to see you again!

Subscribe now